Mother's Day...With Love from the Red Bird

My Mom's stepmother, whom we lovingly call "Nanny," has been gently encouraging me to write a devotion book. Life and time haven't aligned to give me the opportunity to even explore that, but my heart does do a little pitter-patter every time she mentions it. She told me that one entry must be about the cardinal...which we affectionately call the "red bird."

The red bird holds special meaning for many people and for Christians in particular it can be a symbol of faith . For Nanny, my Mom, and I it became a symbol of love. When my Papa, Nanny's husband and my Mom's daddy, passed away about four years ago we experienced a deep loss. I know my Mom grieved so deeply, but she rarely showed it.

Mom and I, Easter 2017

My Mom was one of the bravest people I've ever met. She endured deep heartache at the young age of nine when her parent's divorced. She was raised by her Daddy, along with her two brothers, one of which was deaf and the other who had cerebral palsy. Mom had to grow up fast, almost becoming a second mother to her brothers. As I grew up, I heard story after story of her childhood. She never told her stories with sadness, but with love. Love for her Daddy and the camaraderie among their little family that was borne of simple living and simple joys. I picture those stories in my mind like they were part of my own personal history. In a way they are, as I'm part of my Mom, but I'll never know all the sorrow and hardships that were also part of those years. One thing is for certain, though: my Mom, her Daddy, and her brothers had a deep connection that was forged through all they went through.

When my Papa died, I felt like my own heart was broken in two. Every time I thought of him for several years I couldn't stop the tears. He and I were very close, but my Momma was Papa's heart. Momma only let the walls down and shared her grief with me once, and it was the only time in my life, up to that point, that I saw her cry that hard. She was always afraid that if she started crying she wouldn't be able to stop. We grieved together that day.

One way we got through grieving Papa's death was every time Mom, Nanny or I would see a red bird we'd say something like, "There's Papa coming to tell us hello!" Of course, we didn't believe that was actually Papa, but we did believe that a loving heavenly Father could send a message to us through his creation. I'll admit, sometimes I felt kind of silly thinking of a bird in that way, but as time went on it became a symbol of love and comfort for all of us. Little red bird things began popping up around my parent's house: figurines, pictures, etc. Seeing a red bird flying nearby always made us smile.

My sister, Mom, and I, Easter 2012
Mom was wearing her red dress

When Mom was diagnosed with sarcoma cancer in August of 2016, her courage and determination were tested to the limit. Through her pain she was able to let go of bottling up her tears, and when her pain was almost unbearable we would cry together. Her best friend, Sharon, told me later that she asked Mom how bad the pain was: was she taking it day by day, hour by hour, or minute by minute? Mom replied, "second by second." My Mom faced her fears and pain with grace and dignity. I shared a lot of our journey and a conclusion here. One thing I didn't share was the day of Mom's funeral I saw two red birds flying around in my parent's backyard. The significance was not lost on me. We had even chose a red dress for my mom to be buried in. She looked so pretty in that dress.

Since Mom's passing, I've missed her terribly. I don't wish for her to be here on earth in pain and suffering, so I'm thankful that she is free from that in Heaven. I do, however, miss her presence in my life. Our girl's days, everyday talks on the phone, her advice...as time goes on I feel the void of our deep connection more and more. As my first Mother's Day without Mom approaches, God has been sending me divine little love messages. Several times over the past couple of weeks I've seen a red bird: twice hopping in the yard at our house, the parking lot at one of the schools I work at, and twice red birds have flown in front of us as we've been driving home. I do not doubt God's signature is all over this: "To you, my daughter, with love from your heavenly Father."



I close with this picture of the poem, A Mother's Love. Mom loved poetry. She copied this poem by Helen Steiner Rice on a sheet of paper and my sister, Paige, and I found it as we were going through her things after she passed away. As a surprise, Paige had the poem, in Mom's handwriting, placed on a wall hanging and gave it as a gift to my brother and I. What a treasure.


God bless you as you navigate through the joys and sorrows of this life, particularly the ones you may face on Mother's Day. Look for the love notes God leaves all around you. It could even come in the form of a little red bird. I'd appreciate your prayers as I do this as well. Much love..xoxo