We're only a few days away...just three days of post planning for teachers...before we finish up the 2017-2018 school year. Wow. I'm honestly just thankful I made it through one of the roughest school years of my life. But I can also say that it's been one of the most impactful...mostly in a positive way. ; ) No matter how difficult it seemed, even on days that I really just felt like giving up, God reminded me that He is my Provider and He had this year planned from the beginning of time.
Confession time. I'm speaking only for myself here...not other moms, wives, husbands, people in general. There was a certain level of pride in my heart about being a stay at home mom. I also battled pride in our humble financial status because we chose to sacrifice so that I could be home with our children, taking care of the house, and homeschooling. Don't get me wrong...all of the things I was doing were exactly what the Lord wanted me to do and they were good things. God blessed us, provided for us in miraculous ways, and gave us so much joy during this time. The problem wasn't what we were doing, it was the pride that would creep in.
God has a great way of humbling us, while thankfully blessing us at the same time. I really wanted to homeschool my children through their elementary years, but I was very unsure about how I was going to do that. When we moved to a new, more rural, community, it was like God completely changed mine and my husband's heart about our kids' education. There was no doubt in our minds that I was supposed to stop homeschooling and our kids needed to be in school.We visited several schools and prayed for wisdom. It was about a week before both of my parents had intense medical issues that God flung the door wide open for our children to attend a private school about 45 minutes away from us. It was a place that I had always dreamed that my kids might go, but I never in a million years thought that dream would be a reality. The school also happened to be about 10 minutes from my parent's house. God provided the financial aide we needed and we enrolled our two oldest kids there and our son in a half a day preK down the street. My heart just wants to burst thinking about God's sweet provision. I was free to be with my parents without having to work for a full school year thanks to God's abundant blessings.
As the 2016-2017 school year came to a close, I began to sense an urging to apply for a job for the next school year. We knew some of the financial resources God had given us would be running out eventually. It would also be good for me to have something to do during the time that all three of the kids would be in school, especially since I didn't want to drive that 45 minute commute back and forth. Joe, my husband, and I began to pray. I felt led to "cast the net wide" and put my resume in a few different places and asked the Lord to close the doors where He knew I didn't need to be. I had no idea what we would be doing in 5-6 months, but I knew God did. So I asked Him for His help. Through this job search, my tinier-than-a-mustard-seed faith began to grow.
God opened the door for me to have a job that not only provided for our financial needs, but it was also something I really enjoyed and could do part time. I was put in a position to be mentored by fellow teachers who could help me each step of the way. When my Mom was close to passing away and eventually did pass away at the beginning of the school year, my coworkers were there supporting me, giving me their love, thoughts, and prayers. God knew I would need all of that during this time. Having to teach each day also gave me something to keep moving forward and keep my mind occupied so that my grief wouldn't be all that I thought about.
What have I learned through this year? One of the biggest lessons is that God is not only in control, but He lovingly leads and guides families down the paths that He sees as the best for them. When we earnestly seek Him...lay down our ambitions, our pride, our desires...and say, "Here am I Lord, send me," He will. He may send you back into your home to stay home and homeschool your kids. He may open doors for you to start your own business, go back to school, or go to a job you never thought you would do. I never thought I would go back to teaching in public school in the county I grew up in. I would've been scared to death of being in some of the places I've needed to go. But what a blessing I would've missed! I've had opportunities to love and minister to children who are in dire need of love. To walk into spiritually dark places and pray for students and teachers there. Learn some lessons in my attitude and perspective when things weren't going well...which is certainly humbling...and refining. I've had the privilege of making new friends from many different places and walks of life, and I've loved the conversations and time we've gotten to spend together. The Lord knew how lonely I had been and my high need for socialization, and He provided that for me. Each time I reevaluated and asked myself the question, "Is this really what I need to be doing right now?," God gave me reassurance that "for such a time as this," I was right where He planned and provided for me to be.
I have a lot to be thankful for! On that note...happy summer and happy end of the school year!!! Woohooo!! : )
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